Fearing the Future
by icyglass431
Summary: Jout/Newkirk - The couple talks about their time after the war.


**A/N: There is slight slash in the beginning. As always, I marked it with bold H's to skip if you don't like it.**

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 **HHHHHHH**

"Yeah…'at's it…'at's…it," Newkirk gasped in between breaths. His fingers were buried in Jout's umber brown hair as his head bobbed up and down rapidly over his crotch. "Don't stop," he panted, his back arched as he raised his pelvis while he pushed Jout's head slightly down, trying to gain as much pleasure as possible. "Don't…" Suddenly, he whispered breathlessly, "Josh, I'm…"

Newkirk tried to push Jout away, but the American stayed where he was and continued his movement. Newkirk dug his fingers into his boyfriend's shoulders as he came, his whole body trembling from reaching his peak of pleasure. He breathed heavily, and his arms slid powerless from Jout's head onto the cot. Jout pulled away from him and swallowed, then he kissed his way up to Newkirk's mouth, plopping down next to him and laying his head on the Brit's heaving chest. They laid this way for the next few minutes; Newkirk trying to catch his breath and Jout pecking on his neck while drawing his hand across Newkirk's upper body, feeling the heated skin.

 **HHHHHHH**

Eventually, Newkirk circled his arm around Jout and squeezed him tenderly. " 'at was amazin', luv. But ya didn't have to –"

"But I wanted to," Jout interrupted. "If you respect my wish to not go _all_ the way while being here, I want to go all the way at what we _are_ doing" Jout stroked sensuously across Newkirk's chest, playing with the few sporadic hairs that covered his chest. "Besides, I think it's the proper time for it after eight months of being together"

" 'ey, I'm completely fine with waitin' till we get to London. It's an important step in a relationship to go beyond touchin' and oral pleasure, especially if one of the partners never did it before," Newkirk explained. He kissed Jout's forehead and said with a devilish grin on his face, "After the war, when we're in London, I will seduce ya properly. I'll take ya out to dinner, and then we'll walk back 'ome alon' the Thames, admirin' the moonshine 'at reflects in the water. Back 'ome, I'll ask ya for a dance while soft music is playin', and when the time is ready, I will lead ya into the bedroom and show ya 'ow ya really make love, far away from prison camps and tunnels, or small cots in the cooler. We'll take our time to explore each other, find out what the other likes, and enjoy the foreplay without havin' to rush things"

A shiver went down Jout's spine and he propped himself up on Newkirk's chest, smiling down at him. "I can't wait for the war to end" He lowered his head and placed his lips softly on his boyfriend's. When the kiss ended, he traced Newkirk's lips with his finger. "As much as I hate to say it, but I think we should get dressed. Don't want one of the Germans to walk in on us while we're naked"

They had been in the cooler for three days now, which left four to follow. The reason for their stay was a diversion that had been needed to smuggle Olsen into Schnitzer's truck in broad daylight. So Hogan ordered Jout and Newkirk to start a fight among the prisoners at roll call. It had worked brilliantly, and Olsen was able to sneak into the truck undetected while the rest of the barracks faked a fight. By the time Klink had come out of his office to get Schultz's report, the fight was in full swing and Klink furious at the prisoners' misbehaviour. After he stopped the fight, he demanded to know who was responsible for the turmoil, and when Jout and Newkirk stepped forward, Klink ordered Schultz to bring them to the cooler. On their way, Jout was able to talk Schultz into placing him and Newkirk in one cell, and right after the big German guard had closed the door, they ripped their clothes off and pleasured each other. And for the last three days, they had been switching from loving each other to cuddling and talking, and then back to loving each other.

After they got dressed again, Jout lay back down and now Newkirk rested his head on the American's shoulder, placing his right hand above Jout's heart. A sudden wave of melancholy and sadness rushed through him; just like every time he made love with Jout lately. And now Newkirk felt even more depressed after talking with the American about their time in London after the war. It was talking or thinking about their future that made him sad. This sorrowful feeling had begun after a particular dangerous mission which Jout had successfully completed. In their joy, Carter had said that the Air Force would surely promote Jout for his service and that he might get his own squadron to lead after the war. Carter's comment was quickly forgotten; however, it burnt itself into Newkirk's mind. One of the fears that made him hesitate to make a move on Jout broke through his rose-coloured glasses; the fact that Jout was an American career soldier in the US Air Force and he an English magician in London. Would they have a future after the war when their debriefing in London was over? Would Jout be willing to leave the military for him and move to London? Could he even demand such a step from his boyfriend when he himself was not willing to leave his family again and move to the States? Those thoughts were always racing through his head after they made love, but he could not make himself to voice his fears because he was too afraid that Jout would tell him that there would be no future for them.

While being in his thoughts, Newkirk had not felt any movement from Jout except his chest rising and falling as he breathed, which made him believe that he was already sleeping. But suddenly, he felt Jout's hand covering his, and heard him asking, "Is something bothering you, Peter? You seem so distant lately after we made love. Don't you like it?"

Newkirk shot up and stared at Jout. "No! Of course I love it when we're together. What makes ya think 'at?"

"I don't know," Jout shrugged. He drove with his hand across Newkirk's back as he said, "It just seems like something's bothering you every time we sleep with each other. And I just figured that maybe you don't talk with me about what is bothering you because you don't want to hurt me"

"No, no, no!" Newkirk laid his hand on Jout's cheek and gently stroke it with his thumb. "It 'as nothin' to do with ya and me sleepin' with each other. But ya're right, there _is_ somethin' troublin' me" Newkirk settled back down, lying his head on Jout's shoulder again. "Ya know, when we spend time with each other, I just get to think about what will 'appen with us after the war, with ya bein' in the Air Force and me livin' in London" He took a deep breath before he asked, "Will there be a chance for us to stay together when we get liberated?"

Newkirk stayed with his head where he was, staring at a blank spot at the wall across from them. He could not make himself to look in Jout's eyes, fearing the other man's response.

He felt how Jout squeezed him gently and how he continued to caress his back. "I was thinking about our time after the war too," Jout began to say. "You want to hear the scenario I thought up for us?"

Newkirk merely nodded, not being able to speak. "When I was promoted to officer, my term of service was over, and I needed to enlist again to stay in the Air Force because the US was not involved in the war yet. I enlisted for the longest term possible, which was six years. So my term of service would officially end in May 1946; when the war ends before that date I have to stay in the Air Force until May 1946, when the war ends after that date, I can retire from service immediately. You told me once that you want to open up your own tailoring after the war; to put your skills to a _good_ use for a change," Jout explained, stressing the word 'good' with a smirk on his face. "If the war ends before May 1946, I will have to leave London and stay where the Air Force wants me to for the rest of my service. During that time, you maybe find the right location to start your tailoring and get settled again in London with your family. When my term of service is over, I will move to London and I thought that I could join you. I mean, I'm not good with sewing, but I'm good with numbers and maybe I could do the accounting. And if the war ends after May 1946, I will stay in London and we could open up the tailoring together" He looked down at Newkirk and asked, "What do you think of that?"

Newkirk was too astonished to answer at first. When he had regained his composure again, he lifted his head and stared at Jout, the expression on his face betraying his astonishment. "Ya would be willin' to give up yer career in the military for me?"

"Of course!" Jout smiled softly at him. "You know, before I met you, my career was everything for me. The Air Force saved me from my father and gave me a home for the first time in my life. And after Henri's death, I shut myself away from the possibility of ever being in a relationship again. But now, I can't imagine my life without you by my side. I can always find a new job that makes me happy, but I will never find someone who makes me happier than you do" He drove with his finger over Newkirk's forehead, brushing his black hair out of his face. "Your family and friends live in London; your _life_ is in London. I have no life in the States because I always moved from base to base. And then there are Ann and Tommy who live in England as well, and Ann plans to move to London after the war too. So there are three important people in my life in London, and only one in the States"

Newkirk began to smile. He lowered his head and gave Jout a passionate kiss, feeling his body relax at hearing that his worst fear did not come true. When the kiss ended, Newkirk gazed into Jout's warm chocolate brown eyes and said, "Ya know, I love what ya 'ave planned for us. Our own tailorin', with me producin' the clothes and ya sellin' them. I can't wait for it to be more than just a fantasy"

"Me too, Peter," Jout said as they both settled down to sleep. "Me too"


End file.
